The Everything Shower

It's only 15 or so steps!

May 05, 2023

I imagine I’m not alone in preferring to watch TikTok versions of certain activities more than I enjoy the actual activities myself. Living in a van, for instance! Or de-barnacle-ing crabs off the coast of Santa Cruz! Two things I’m deeply into on TikTok but never plan on incorporating into my real life.

But hearing about an Everything Shower, as TikTok has coined it, will never be as satisfying as actually completing one yourself. Second only to the post-beach, pre-dinner shower, the Everything Shower is more ritual than necessity. One can take a perfectly serviceable shower without indulging in the nitty-gritty of the Everything Shower. But there is absolutely nothing I’d rather do before climbing into clean sheets and watching whatever Sunday HBO has to offer me. So let’s get into it, shall we?

First, the prerequisites:

Everything Showers should be at night, if you ask me. I took one really incredible Everything Shower at 6AM after a red eye to a destination wedding (it also included a whole fake tanning and blowout routine — I really made a day of it). But that was a special occasion so it is the exception that proves the rule.
Everything Showers deserve better-than-average audio entertainment. I suggest a podcast. Specifically Articles of Interests series on prep if you haven’t already listened to it.
Bed sheets should be fresh and your fluffiest robe should be ready. I invested in this bad boy during the height of the pandemic and I highly recommend.
To remind myself that this is not a regular shower — it’s an Everything Shower — I ceremonially light Homecourt’s Cece candle, which comes in a stealth wealth concrete vessel and smells like cedarwood smoke and white leather. It has moody, lush vibes — as if dim lighting were a candle.

Now that that’s settled, time for the real work:

Face

I cycle through cleansers depending on my mood, but for main event-level cleansing, I pull out my IS Clinical Warming Honey Cleanser because it feels exactly like honey and doubles as a leave-on treatment. As much as I like masking freshly showered skin, I find that rinsing mask out of newly clean hair kills the vibes. Shower cleansing means no fuss, no muss. Slather this on a few minutes before you step into the shower and then let the steam take it away.

Body

I’m only going to say this once: Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap in Eucalyptus. Quarter-size amount, suds it right up, and I don’t want to hear anything else about it. You can moisturize your skin later if you’re concerned. This is what true clean feels like. I swear by this stuff. Started using it when some bacne flared up a few years ago. Suffice it to say, I no longer have bacne. (Of all the eucalyptus stuff I’ve acquired over the years, the Dr. Bronner's very true take on it is still my favorite.)

Shaving is another routine I have been very consistent about and have no interest in changing. Flamingo razors are very sharp, very comfortable in my hand, and very chic with their muted color palette. Instead of shaving cream, I douse my legs with Glossier Body Hero Daily Oil Wash. This makes for very smooth sailing. Almost too smooth. Be careful.

Hair

Longtime readers will know I prefer the Christophe Robin Salt Scrub to clarify my hair. But it’s been talked to death at this point, and I won’t bore you with another review. Instead I’ll tell you about the OTHER shampoo I use every other week: the very delightful Davines Momo Shampoo. This was on recommendation from Drew Schaefering, who cuts my hair at Rob Peetoom in Williamsburg. You get a nice lather (and a lovely, melon-y scent) without stripping your hair down to the brass tacks. This makes heat styling an easier, smoother feat on the off-weeks. Also helpful is my new absolutely over-the-top conditioning indulgence. I’ve been a fan of the Virtue products since they launched, but I only recently got my hands on the Restorative Treatment Mask and let me tell you: What. A. Treat. I’m a total sucker for it’s coconut-forward scent, but really it’s the results: My hair feels silkier and smoother with less effort or heat. I’m kind of a jerk to my hair on a regular basis, so it feels nice to give it a little extra love and repair. I’ve decided it is just a very decadent conditioner and use it almost every time I wash my hair.

Post-shower

Now for the layering. I throw my hair up in the Act + Acre Intelligent Hair Towel and lightly dry my body. I like to be a little damp when I slather on the Nécessaire Body Serum, followed by the Nécessaire Body Lotion. I’ve long pretended to love heavy body creams. (I am so super nostalgic for the various Kiehl’s holiday edition Creme de Corps, you have no idea.) Yet I have a sneaking suspicion that most of that goo comes off on my PJs or sheets vs. doing anything for the skin. In the dead of winter, I’ll relent to a good body oil. But this Nécessaire duo gets the job done without all the hassle. I didn’t want to give in to the hype; turns out the hype is warranted. The lotion soaks in like nobody’s business. And with the addition of the serum layered underneath, the skin I wake up to is down right velvet-y (and this isn’t even when I’m doing my makeshift body peel from a few weeks ago). It’s not the most romantic thing in the world, but the results speak for themselves.

My skincare routine continues to be simple. As a prescription retinol user, I keep OTC exfoliation to a minimum (I have been known to accidentally give myself a chemical burn or two over the years). One gentle-but-mighty addition on my non-retinol days is the new Sofie Pavitt Face Mandelic Clearing Serum. My retinol is like a drill sergeant: It’s very demanding, but it gets results. Sofie’s serum is more like a really persuasive defense attorney. (I didn’t anticipate an A Few Good Men allusion this far into the newsletter, but there you go.) Your rosacea, perioral dermatitis, and persistent blackheads just get sweet talked out of being on your face. I don’t worry about overdoing it, but I also know, like Sofie, it’ll kick my skin’s butt into shape.

My preferred serums and moisturizers are water-based and refreshing. The reformulated Stratia Rewind Serum feels like it’ll be a real summertime secret weapon. Hydrating, but with a hint of tone-evening niacinamide. Then I seal it in with the Aveeno Calm + Restore Oat Gel Moisturizer. I get a real thrill from finding a drugstore product this good. Lightweight, buildable, soothing, not fragranced, AND slippery enough to do some light gua sha work on top of? It’s almost too good. Careful with the gua sha though; relax yourself too far and you’ll fall asleep during Succession.

The Beauty Hotline is warming up and getting ready to go — I’ve already fielded questions about the retinol uglies, how to determine your undertones, and the best baby products adults should also use. Got a question you’d like to see answered? Hit me up in the comments!